Ah, Allan: You've hit on a long-standing disagreement I've had with a good friend of mine. She believes that there is no such things as an unselfish act, because any good deed gives you satisfaction, therefore making it ultimately done for selfish reasons. But to my mind, there is a fatal flaw in that argument. When you do something loving, that is the act. The "feeling good" can occur because you are doing the act, or as an "after-effect." Like all things, the reason why you are doing something is the ultimate measure. If you are doing something purely out of love, and that is your motivation, taking pleasure because you've made someone else happy is not selfish. It's the result of an unselfish act. If you do something seemingly loving because of what you expect in return (bringing flowers on a date, hoping to leverage that "loving" act into a hot night of sex has nothing to do with love. Many acts that appear to be loving are indeed done for selfish reason. I know that as a fact, because I've done it so much. (Not the flowers for sex barter, though..) And I am always in danger of doing it.

It's not the act in itself that is loving or selfless. It's the reason for doing it.

Jerry