I already did try that. I find people easier to talk to than manuals for some reason. (Most people, that is.) They respond. The manual just sits there like a sphinx with a thousand pages. If I actually had a physical human being here to help me who understood the situation, I could have solved this matter in probably about 10 seconds.

Ever compared a written manual of guitar technique to a live demonstration of same? Why do we have music teachers? Why doesn't everyone just RTFM?