Are they opened? Do they have long term expiry dates on them? Donate them to a harvest festival in September if they don't run out til 2007..... there is NOTHING you can do with pickled onions and/or marmite that wouldn't seriously jepoardise your chances of ever kissing anyone ever again (unless they like eating pickled onions and/or marmite, in which case, why would you want to kiss them?).

LTS