Well, me and the Wes Ginny Slide Rule once spent an all nighter on exactly this question... My couzin Rufus was going thru some tough times with Rether May and he asked me if he could kill himself with his flashligh batteries... Heck, he offered to eat 'um, that's how bad the boy was.... Hey, it was Christmas... What can you say...

So me and WGSR worked thru the night and when mornin' come 'round we hadn't figgued out no way for the poor boy to do the deed with just the batteries.... Yeah, eatin' um wouldn't have done the trick but we did offer him, Plan B... Hey, it was Christmas, gol danged it!!!

We figgued that if Rufe put the batteries back into his Coleman flashlight that it would have sufficient weight for Rufus to beat himself to death with it...

What we didn't factor in was alcohol... Now, alcohol can be man's worse enemy or best friend... Kinda like a dog... So here it was three days before Christmas and I get a call from Retha May and she's crying and all and says that Rufus is out in the Chevette with a bunch of blood on his face.... Hey whats a guy gonna do???

So I go on over and, sho nuff, Rufus got some blood on his face but most from a bloody nose he got when he passed out from the Iron City and hit the steering wheel... Well, I woke him up, took him back up the half a double-wide and me and Retha May cleaned the boy up and tucked him into the sofa...

He looked so innocent there...

Sniff, that was the best Christmas...

Ahhhh, what was the question????

Bobert