Hi, Mrr - I wish the best for you and your family. It sounds like many of us have children who have had to deal with grief. My wife and I have been married four years now, and her son is now 16. He lost his father at the age of 7, and his stepfather at 11. That's a lot for a kid to handle, and it really affected him - still does, to a degree. For several months, he went to a weekly children's session offered by our local hospice, and I think it was very helpful. the Social Security Administration also provides support for him - I think it ends when he finishes high school.
All the best to you. I'm sure you're a wonderful mom.
-Joe Offer-