Ok Bugsy, here goes, plus guitar chords (you can figure out the melody easily)
A LITTLE BIT OF BURGLING ON THE SIDE
(leastways I assume that is the title )
G7 C G7 C
After plodding on the beat all day for eight hours on or
G7
more
C G7 C
Arresting thieves and crooks of every kind
Am Dm D G7
I need a change from acting as the long arm of the law
Dm D G7
Some hobby that will help a man unwind
C G7 C
Though some may think my pastime rather taxing
C G7 C
It's benefits just cannot be denied
Am Dm G7
I find it therapeutic and relaxing
G7 C
To do a bit of burgling on the side.
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CHORUS:
C F C F
It's only right and proper for a conscientious copper
C F C
And really it's quite easy once you've tried
Am Dm D G7
A most rewarding hobby, beneficial to a bobby
G7 C
Is a little bit of burgling on the side.
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Back home I hang my helmet on the hatstand in the hall
And change into my striped shirt and flat cap
Equipped with mask and jemmy I go vaulting over walls
In search of swag as nimbly as a cat
Now, burglary demands both strength and fitness
And as a burglar I can state with pride
Constabulary colleagues never witness
My little bit of burgling on the side.
[CHORUS]
Now, burgling boosts my wages and I'm better off today
'Cos all my casual earnings are tax-free
And though they say that in the long run crime will never pay
It pays better than the government pays me.
Some constables are keen on stamp-collecting
A most relaxing way to spend one's time
But some inspectors when they're not inspecting
Like to dabble in the art of petty crime.
[CHORUS]
Now I've been a bobby on the beat for nigh on twenty year
And retirement soon is looming up for me
I'll bow out with a pension, a handshake and a watch
Maybe even with an MBE
But if I find my pension cannot get me
The luxuries my hobby could provide
I'll disinter my trusty rusty jemmy
And go back to doing my burgling on the side.
[CHORUS] (repeat last line of chorus).
I have to to confess that the last verse is my own addition. On the videotape, there is a different last verse which I can't remember right now, but it was vaguely unsatisfactory, didn't finish the song off properly.
Notes for Non-UK 's. A "jemmy " is a crowbar. A (horizontally) striped shirt and flat cap is what every burglar wears, if we are to believe English cartoons and comic strips. "Swag" is a colloquialism for stolen goods.
Anyone know who the author is?
Words and music by Peter Christy 1978, from the group Instant Sunshine for more information see their web site at http://www.instantsunshine.co.uk/