I found that listening to the News was getting me down.

I arrived at a simple solution to my malaise. I entered all the dialogue out of the first 3 seasons of "Trailer Park Boys" into an audio data bank which then randomized said dialogue. When I want an update, I punch a button, and listen to five minutes of random dialogue from Ricky, Julian, Bubbles, J-Rock, Randy, Mr Lahey, etc...

That tells me all I need to know. Problem solv-ed. (as Detective Clouseau would say...)