This is how Arthur Johnstone from Glasgow sings it on his LP 'Generations of Change' (1985). The author is given as 'Betts'. I gather it was written in the States. Does anyone know more about him? And can anyone help with the two expressions I'm not sure about (see question marks). - Susanne

THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
(Betts)

Chorus:
And oh, how we could sing, what fun those nights would bring
Singing for hours on end
Once we found the key - oh what harmony
Those drunken voices could blend
Heart of My Heart, just for a start
Walkin' My Baby Back Home
When it comes to an end let's sing it again
They don't write them like that any more

Da's drunk again and he's brought lots of men
And their wives back home from the club
They've got no beer but you need have no fear
Tam's gone round the back door of the pub
Someone's playing a piano as if using a sledgehammer
Murdering There Goes My Heart
There's a knock at the door, it's Tam in once more
Brought the beer, so we're ready to start

Ma's in the kitchen tryin' to make up a snack
From the chicken we had this afternoon
Jack says, Where's the toilet, Ma says, Roon' the back
By his look - not a minute too soon
Then a laugh round the whole house: Jack's fell in the coalhouse
Man, he's as drunk as a neut
With his face covered black he's not taken aback
He sings Mammy and the rest follows suit

Half one in the mornin', Da's started yawnin'
He's got to be workin' at six
A bold audience is watchin' while Tony is botchin' (?)
And missin' an easy card trick (?)
It's time to go now, he's got somehow
To get them all to go home
When you're drunk full of beer the last thing you want to hear
Is a tune on his paper and comb
^^