My church needs your help urgently. My church is a little shrine in my room with a picture of Winona Ryder on it, and we are in bad shape at this point, partly because of that shoplifting scandal and partly because I'm the only local member.

We are accepting both converts and contributions from any and all sources. Winona must be restored to her former glory!

Call 1-800-2WIN-ONA....don't hesitate. Call now and pledge your contribution! We suggest $500. Lifetime membership for $1,000.