Well, if my name is Naomi I will stay away from John Lewis, no matter WHAT he promises me.

And if I am the youngest of two sisters, my father prefers me, and my sister is jealous, I will steer clear of water.

And I will tell the devil to tie up my wife before he takes her down to hell because that way she can't kick the demons around.

And if I am on a ship named the Golden Vanity, I will be very careful and talk to the messmates first.

And, if I am a fair maid about seventeen, who must 'list in the navy for to serve the queen...I'll get some fake warts or something to that no one will fall in love with me!

And...if my name is Janet I will tell my father that I really can't talk right now, and then escape through the window or something before he makes me take off my dress.