In other news of note, two items qualify for this highest of shrines:

1. Several groups around the world have now gained ethical approval to develop implants that monitor and control the behaviour of animals, from sharks and tuna to rats and monkeys. A team funded by the US military even claim to have created a neural probe that will be able to manipulate a shark's brain signals or decode them to tell us more about how the animals interact with the world. More controversially, the Pentagon hope to use remote-controlled sharks as stealth spies, exploiting their ability to move quietly through water, , sense delicate electrical gradients and follow chemical trails.

So now the millitary will be operating sharks. How d'ye like THEM apples?

2. The Onion's obsession with Cow Abduction has been inerrupted by a more pressing querstion for those of you who have a cat, or two, or more: Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?.

Only in America.


A