Yes, it does help discussing it on the internet because it gives me other language, like "exposing the vocal."
I see this as a communication issue, because the engineer did a beautiful job of recording my vocals with all the nuances and my quirky (and very quiet) guitar-playing. He has recorded acoustic music, folk music, rock and roll and God knows what else. And, until we got into mixing he was supportive and enthusiastic about my musical choices.
In a live poll of musician friends, someone else had suggested that the problem was overcompression and it is helpful to me that one of you suggested that here -- sort of like getting a second medical opinion.
I still think it wouldn't hurt for me to have a basic understanding of terms and processes. Can someone recommend an ABC of mixing or a basic text at not too high a level? I like to learn things.