I second JeffP's comments--and Nick is exactly on the money--you do know exactly what you want! The person who is mixing it either can't or won't give it to you--

Most pop music is created in the editing, with the ultimate goal being to replicate whatever the sound of the moment is--what you want is for the recording to capture your sound, which can actually be a lot harder. Be prepared to deal with the possibility that your engineer doesn't know how to do what you want--you may need to find someone else--