Remember that somebody who is a great tracking engineer is not necessarily a great mixing engineer. Frequently the tracking, mixing and mastering will be done by three different people, often at different facilities. There are different skill sets required for all three functions.
As far as not wanting to sound like anybody else, that is fine. What you are looking for in an example for your engineer is a treatment that you are trying to replicate. In other words, you are looking for a similarity in the overall feel of the sound quality (dynamic range, eq, presence, things like that). Try to find a couple of CDs, or even individual tracks that have the sound quality that you are looking for. My guess is that you want a transparency that lets the performance shine through with full dynamic range and allows the song to speak for itself.
If I had more experience, I would offer to work with you myself, but I'm just getting started with my own home recording projects. Best of luck. If you want any translation from recorderese to English, I'll be happy to help - just PM me.
In the meantime, Home Recording for Dummies has been a good resource for me. It might be helpful to you in learning the language and getting some idea of what certain effects will do to your sound.