You'll change your mind, Don, if you come up to Orillia, Ontario. I have a little swamp out here in the woods that I am willing to part with for a song...well, not literally, but a surprisingly low price! Yes indeed. And who would ever guess that beneath this little swamp is rumored to be hidden...Captain Kidd's pirate gold! Would I like to you? Of course not.

Then there's the bridge. It's near here, and it's a lovely antique bridge over the Coldwater River near beautiful downtown Coldwater. This picturesque reminder of our small town heritage can be had for a mere $30,000...payable in small unmarked bills.

But hurry! I can't promise that these items will last long, not at these prices. I'm practically GIVING THEM AWAY! I'm giving you this hot tip because I'm a friend, and that's what friends are for.