Denise - let me put you out of your misery...
The French bit on the post was made up of a cult reference and a cliche or two, and would indeed expect to lose summat in translation.
Basically, the "il-y-a" is a bad pun, a corruption of Illya (Kuryakin), who you'll remember was Napoleon Solo's sidekick on the Man From UNCLE TV show (played by David McCallum - do I hear swoons offstage?!). Then "is there (do you have) something to say, my brave man?... Oh well, no matter, my uncle (=sly reference to Jacques Tati movie) - (see you) soon at the Black Swan (=the York gig venue), Andy"! Got it now then?
Will you be at the gig Denise???

And Andy, tell Napoleon to turn the Bones-aparte!

See ya tonight the noo,
MM