THE RV BLUES
(Kendall Morse & Smokey Green)

If you want to get in trouble, I'll tell you how to do it
Get an RV and then you're into it
You fix all day and tinker all night,
never get the damn thing running right
Always breaking down, flat tires, fouled spark plugs.

I bought my rig about a year ago
The man said I'd own it in 10 years or so
So, I went to my banker, and he was soft
He knew I'd never live to pay it all off
Cost me every cent I had..or ever gonna have
Feeling trapped..stupid.

I jumped in that rig and headed south,
6 miles to the gallon living hand to mouth
I thought, "Oh well, I can live with this."
then the tranny refused to shift.
Some greaseball said it was the bands
I didn't hear no music,
He must have been tone deaf.

On I 81 the engine coughed,
I hit a bump and the muffler fell off
Like to caught my death in the snow and rain
Finally got it back together again
Still sounds like a tank.

The fridge worked good when the weather was cold
Then it warmed up and I had 3 kinds of mold
At 30 degrees the furnace quit, propane was gone, no place to buy it.

I got to Florida just the same,
heard it was warmer back home in Maine
Hope it warms up for my wife's sake
I told her the weather just had to break
Everything on the motorhome has.

I had a time at the dump station today
I pulled that handle, and the hose gave way
Got it all over me and the RV too
When I got done swearing the air was blue
People in the next camper was laughing
Then, the wind shifted.

Well, I cleaned her up as best I could
Went in to shower get rid of the crud
Got all soaped down went to rinse off
The friggin' water heater went off
ICE WATER never this cold when you want a drink..

I'd like to sell it and get off this kick
But, the payment book's about two feet thick
I'd lose my shirt if I sold it now
So, I'll keep fixin' keep it runnin' somehow
Feeling trapped.. HEY BUDDY..WANNA BUY A CAMPER?

^^