I don't think I have the menopause yet ( I still have regular periods ) , but I have low hormones and a gynaelogical problem which I think I have had for years, but no doctor had uncovered until now. ( LOng story; but blame the NHS for that one. )

So it seems I have had the SYMPTOMS of the menopsue since I was 32 , i.e the past 8 years, and it now feels like there's light at the end of the tunnel to know, perhaps, WHY I have been feeling down for years. Feeling down for so long contributed to my marriage breaking down. To be honest I feel it made me put up with stuff I shouldn't have, cos I had low self esteem etc.. ( Another long story. )

So I feel relieved now it seems that there is a name for this, and that I can get treatment for it. At the moment I am waiting for an operation for my gynaelogical problem which might sort out my hormones, and I have started taking anti-depressants. I have stopped crying and life seems a bit better.

My doctor says you have to fight against psychological problems, and it's true. I felt better as soon as I had gone and got some tablets for it. I am maybe unusual because I am not afraid to say that I am going through a tough time, and that I am taking pills for it.

It is also good to remember that a lack of hormones can affect your memory, which makes you feel like you are becoming incapable of doing things. In my case, it made me very scared to move on in my career, and it's stopping me from retraining at the moment. I want to study but I am not sure that I can.

Get a book about it. But, be warned; as I ticked off the stuff I already have, I then started fearing all the other stuff in the book, and it's like saying " it's down hill from here. " That in itself is hard to deal with, never mind the hormones !

Good luck. You partner is lucky to have a caring man by her side.