I was walking on the sidewalk in Downtown Buffalo
When I heard a passing stranger say "he's putting on a show"
I looked down to check, convinced my zipper was undone
But I was shocked to see my pickle shining like the Sun!

Does your pickle spark and sputter
When you turn the power on?
Does your own sweet wifey mutter
"Where's your luminesence, John?"
If you stick it in the socket
Does it still stay pale and wan?
Can you use it like a Snake Light
To put a spare tire on?
Does your pickle spark and sputter
When you turn the power on

The President strode up to the stage to thunderous applause
We all stood and saluted, for it was a noble cause
when he glanced back from the podium at the girls in the front row
His intern-itch had tripped the switch and his pickle was aglow