Here's an old ditty, at least 10 seconds old, that I found in a dusty part of my brain. It may shed some light on this discussion, or maybe not:

It's time to leave the band,
When the drummer's wife
Falls in love with your wife
And you fall in love with the drummer.

Now there's many a choice
One makes in life,
But no choice could be dumber,
Then to fall in love with a drummer!

Feel free to substitute "banjo" or your instrument of choice but be sure to make it rhyme.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, who plays in Roll & Go