Don't like the title....sounds like you're a bit pissed off before you start even. God knows how fractious you'll be after ten minutes walking through all these places.

keep the knocking on doors and asking for water. if all else fails you'll be able to do a stand up routine about what happens.   Personally speaking, I can't wait to find out.

I'd give it a dry run first in Doncaster or Wakefield. Yorkshire folk are renowned for the warmth of their hostility. You'll be able to perfect some opening gambits.

I don't think Americans can be all that bad - after all, these Mormons who knock on the door are from there. I bet they're used to it.

if all else fails you could pretend you're a thirsty Mormon.

all the best

al