Evelyn Waugh's doctor asked him how much he drank.
"Four bottles of whisky, three of gin, two of brandy, a case or so of claret, the occasional bottle of hock, and ale ad libitum," replied the great man.
"Good lord, you get through as much as that in a month? It's a wonder you're not dead."
"Not in a month, old boy. Those are my requirments for a week."