Hi jacqui & Ivor

back to the original premise
"The need to win can be a deep need. it can help people move out of a dark place. It can be a powerful determination to survive. it can also overtake the reason for doing something and become an end in itself.
In debating, the need to win can overcome the pleasure in examining views."

i started this thread with a view to exploring the idea that in a debate, argument, disagreement on values, opinions, ideas, you don't need to win, you just need to present your view.

"The kid in front made such a fuss getting his that I vowed not to make any fuss at all."

that is an intelligent competitive response - setting your own goal and reaching it. i am a competitive person - and most people are, its a natural instinct learnt & strengthened in early sibling rivalry.

but this thread was not so much about competition as much as the need to win taking over and becoming an end in itself. The need to win is not competition, because in competition there are two of you at it. the need to win obliterates the other participants - and becomes a narcissistic compulsion.

freda