Keep't Dark:
                      or, The Wife that Knaws Ivrything
                      A contrast to the Chep that Knows Nowt.

                      Teun--"The Perfect Cure."

                      Aud Mistress Clark wes fond o' clash,
                      She lik'd te hear her tung,
                      She said that tawkin eased the mind,
                      Wi' foaks byeth aud an' young;
                      The chep that knaws nowt's gud advice
                      Wes lost on Mistress Clark,--
                      But mind aw shuddnt menshun this,
                      Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

                      Says Mistress Clark te siv'ral frinds
                      She had one day te tea,
                      Aw wunder what myeks Geordy Hall
                      So fond o' beer an' spree?
                      They say his wife can tyek her gill,
                      An' neether's fond o' wark,--
                      But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
                      Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

                      There's Mary Smith, upon the stairs,
                      A wild an' rakish lass,
                      Aw wunder where she gets her claes,
                      Aw's sure she hes ne brass,
                      They say she's thick wi' Draper Jim,--
                      He's not up te the mark,--
                      But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
                      Aw hope yell a' keep't dark!

                      There's Bella Jones that leeves next door,
                      Got Bessie Thompson's shawl,
                      An' borrow'd Suzie Ratcliffe's goon,
                      Te gan te Hopper's ball,
                      But neether o' them's got them back,
                      Aw think's owt but a lark,--
                      Still mind aw shuddint menshun this,
                      Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

                      Therre's Dollyu Green, that dorty slut,
                      That leeves alang the yard,
                      She flirts wi' ivry lad she meets,
                      She's worthy ne regard;
                      Last neet aw catch'd her on the stairs
                      Wi' Jack the Keyside Clerk;--
                      But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
                      Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark.

                      There's Mistress Johnson pawns heer claes,
                      As sure as Monday cums:
                      An' drunkin Mary locks the door,
                      For fear she'll get the bums:
                      An' Mistress Black 'ill nivor wesh
                      Her man a shart for wark,
                      But mind aw shuddint menshun this!
                      Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

                      Fat Mistress Jackson likes te clash
                      Lang Jinnie likes her ways;
                      An' Mary Riley starves her bairns,
                      Te get sic dandy cales;
                      Young Peggie Robson's got her bed,
                      Throo sum seducin spark;-
                      But mind aw shuddint menshun this,
                      Aw hope ye'll a' keep't dark!

                      -Joe Wilson