Here is a link to the Grossman performance: I cannot see how to download the mp3. The Minstrel

Working from that performance, and in places from the scansion, I have the following suggestions: -

1. The verse now added is not the last verse, but the penultimate verse.

2. V1 L4 "that man remember"   (comment, a nice use of the residual subjunctive in English)

3. V3 L3 "Amidst the pigs..."

4. V4 L8 Delete "And" (comment, this is my change suggested for scansion reasons: the original seems so good I would be surprised if the additional syllable were correct)

5. V5 L3   (NB the correct V5 when the re-ordering has been done) delete "the", pluralise "siren" to "sirens". Again I suggest this simply for scansion reasons.

6. V6 L1 "My voice is tired; my eyes grow weary"

7. V7 L3 "for lords and ladies"    Again I suggest this simply for scansion reasons.

8. V7 L5 "Until there's no more time for singing".