William Shatner is a lousy singer.

There, I said it. He is. Matter of fact, he can't sing at all. His acting is also really, really the pits. He's dreadful. He couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. He is totally lacking in sex appeal. He's a jerk. He's fat and bloated and mostly bald. That hair isn't really his. The other people on Star Trek couldn't stand him because he's pompous and self-absorbed. He got out-acted by Tribbles and a guy in a rubber lizard suit. He cheated on his college exams. He's a complete phony who ought to be washing dishes, not addressing Star Trek conventions. He does cereal ads because he has no class. He'll do anything for money. Anything. Trust me. Every heard his "I Am Canadian" rant? Well, that story about the Mexican girl is probably true. Every word of it. This man is SICK!

And he can't sing.

That's all I have to say.

I feel...so unburdened. I dared to speack the unspeakable. I am FREE! Ha! Ha! Free, I tell you! I, Sam Lowenbach, have at long last dared to speak out and I AM FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!