If It Haddent Been Her Nose!
Teun-"Irish Mally, O!"

Aw thowt aw'd nivvor fall in luv,
But, lads, aw've been deceived;
For aw think mair o' me sweetheart
Then aw ivor wad believed.
She's a reglor queen frae Sangit,
She's a beauty ye'll supose,
An' she wad been if she haddent
Such a real one-sided nose!

Korus.
It's a pitty that it spoils her,
For her cheek's just like the rose;
An' she'd been a reglor beauty
If it haddent been her nose!

It's neither pug nor Roman,
Nor it's neither broad nor short;
It's neither sunb nor Grecian,
Nor the turn'-up kind o' sort.
It just lies te one side a bit;
An' te suit byeth frinds an' foes,
It sticks tiv its awn business
Like a gudone-sided nose!

Aw thowt it might hev been a blow
She'd got when just a bairn,
That knockt it te one side that way;
But her muther myed us lairn-
That she haddent been five minnits born,
When the midwife, aw suppose,
Bein' squintin when she nipt it,
Goh the bairn a cock-eyed nose!

She's fat, she's fair, not forty,
Wiv a heart byeth kind an' warm;
Besides, she's nice an' stoutly built,
Maw luvin breest te charm.
Her fut wad myek a fairy blush;
She's sprightly on her toes;
But aw cannet luck intiv her fyece
Withoot aw see her nose!

-Joe Wilson