And overreacting to trivia isn't going to stop school shootings. In fact I'd hazard a guess that it makes that kind of thing more likely.

Conceivably there might have been other grounds we don't know about that could have justified this suspension - perhaps the girl was disrupting the class, or setting out to be insolent to the teacher. But "suspended from school for threatening a teacher" - that's daft.

............
Here's a version from :

On top of the schoolhouse
All covered in sand
I shot my poor teacher
With a green rubber band.

I shot here with glory
I shot her with pride
I could hardly have missed her
She's forty feet wide.

I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw hand grenades.

Maybe Garrison Keillor had better think about applying for political asylum in some less sensitive country.