(she appreciates the sympathy no doubt, but our 25th wedding anniversery was 5 days ago, and wejust renewed our options for another 25, so she is stuck!)

and, hmmmmm...I don't believe I have ever heard piffle used as a noun before. It is traditionally only an exclamatory...but trust an Amish mustache connoisseur from Ohio to alter the very structure of grammar! Even Shambles got the deeper import of the concept...and immediately adapted it and doubled it! (Them Reg boys been explaining stuff to you again?)