well, let's say, just for argument's sake...that someone, somewhere on this planet in recent times, HAS BEEN contacted by aliens, good sirs!

How the hell would they talk to a pair of know-it-all prats like you about it then?

I guess they could just forget about even trying, right?

How in God's name do you KNOW for a fact that no one on this planet has been contacted by aliens, and what gives you the utter cheek to think you know it?

It's quite possible that some of what appeared on Art Bell's show was true, while other stuff was not. Give that a whirl through your ossified mental prejudice structure. You don't KNOW anymore than anyone else does whether an alien contact or alien abduction story is true or not. You don't. You are simply leaping to the immediate assumption which dovetails with the way you like to think "things are".

That is a reaction of blind prejudice, nothing more. Such reactions are the bulwark of common ignorance regarding anything deemed "unusual".