Small degree of thread creep here:

A Catholic friend was working in the Raleigh, NC Baptist Book Store while her husband did theology at Duke.
A woman came into the store one day and announced in a very pronounced Southern that she "would like to buy an acolyte."

Kathy blinked once or twice and then told the woman that even in the South it was now illegal to sell or purchase human beings.

Turns out she was looking for "one of those long sticks with the thing on one side for lighting candles and a thing on the other side for puttin 'em out."