Britain's fall from Greatness dates from the time people stopped wearing hats. Look at any old- say pre-1930- photograph. EVERYBODY is wearing a hat, even little kids. They were respectful to their elders, people worked 80 hours a week and went happily to the workhouse when they wore out, soldiers Did Their Duty and went over the top when the sergeant blew the whistle, people had hobbies, collected stamps or train numbers or made cuckoo clocks with marquetry inlays, there was a bobby on every street corner, and The Times was infallible.

Now there are few hats, and Britain is hell on earth, the police arrest OAPs for being mugged, kids can't read or write, and boy scouts don't even wear short trousers.