I, too have been told to go to war. In my case, the mandate stemmed from a large white rabbit, about six feet in height, not normally visible, it seems, to normal mortals. His name, Harvey, is actually a corruption of the ancient Babylonian word "Larry", which is in turn cognate to the Hebrew "Yaweh".

However, after due consideration, I have decided to decline the option to comply with this powerful spiritual being, since I feel it would be unethical, and compromise my inherent personal moral compass.

A