I agree. Thje best play-together fun I've had always semms to dpend on there being one person who is sure how the song should go on any particular occasion and a group of people who can "catch" that and go from there, which allows the initiator to go from there too, and everyone is happy with where they wind up.

Now we had an interesting lesson in this recently. I a usually the one who is sure, sometimes it's my husband. we used to worry about this wondering if it was a control issue on our part, but the group was just obviously having so much fun that we kept it up. Sometimes we got frusrtrated at being leaned on so hard. But we have started to notice a change.

We were reheasing and doing soundsetup for a gig. I stepped away after one song to get a drink and they all spontaneously went on break. ("It figures, I uncharitably thought.") But when I came back I found them sitting around, some with instuments, some not, and someone had started singing "Little by Little". we are sick of it and yet we can never leave it out when we get together, someone always has to start it up. Well, this night it was in a whole new way, real swingy/jazzy/slow bluesy.

They had learned by osmosis that anyone could lead, and all would follow. When it was over they just paused and smiled at each other and sighed. That happens when Greg or I lead but they had never taken us all there themselves, and they liked it, and they were quite aware of what had just happened.

THIS IS HUGE.

Now they are taking off as leaders themselves.

In church we talk about discipling people or shepherding people along-- helping people find a starting point and sticking with them as they progress. I like this as a model for becoming a more effective folkie because it's more accurate than saying we learn or are taught. To stay with the analogy a moment, last night a radio preacher pointed out that it isn't about knowing a lot which you will then teach someone else. It's about one beggar telling another beggar where a good meal can be gotten.

I think the most generic and still accurate description of the healthy process at work, in learning and singing and playing, would be that someone is parenting us, and we are maturing. I think we parent each other, I certainly know our band is parenting me just as much as I am parenting them, and of course sometimes we're all being sisters and brothers and Kum Ba Yah, I've gone dangerously close to the 70's somehow now.