A couple of my favorites in the last few days are:

"I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter,"

and one from last Friday's Royal Canadian Air Farce show, describing the beating Mike Tyson put on his British opponent, Julius Francis:

"Tyson beat Francis so badly, he though he was on a date."

In the same skit they warned viewers that what they were about to show was not pretty and they suggested viewer discretion. Then they flashed up a "before" picture of Francis, followed by an "after" shot — of Camilla Parker Bowles. I missed the next skit.

david