I was born in the morning, but not this morning.

He who blushes is not yet a brute.

OK, they aren't one liners, but sometimes a snide retort is more fun for the teller, think of these as anti-heckler lines for all those hecklers out front. I know you think folkies don't get hecklers but that's only a sign you aren't playing in enough nursing homes or that there's no liquor license where you play.

This thread needs to include our self-deprecating band introductions that are so funny (to us).

Ours is,

"Hi, we're the Good News-Goodtime Band. We specialize in playing for deaf people who can't leave and tonight it's your turn. We're not performers, which you'll find out shortly, but we're loud and we're here to lead the fun-- and you'll need to sing with us so we'll sound a lot better. That's the Goodtime. The Good News is there'll only be one set."