"(The doors slams open and a tall stranger in long cape and black slouch hat, carrying a D-28 in one hand and a Smith and Wesson in the other, walks into the Tavern)."

The doors slam open again and a short, squat stranger in blue jeans and a yard-sale Pendleton shirt, carrying a D-18VMS (strung with GHS True Mediums) and 1960s-vintage Smith and Wesson "Highway Patrolman" with 4-inch barrel, grumbles:

"Which Smith and Wesson? If you're going to specify model numbers, give them both! And a double Guiness should be a quart! Does this place have quart coffee mugs? And waddya mean, there isn't any Otter Creek Stovepipe Porter? Are we that far from #&^(*# Vermont?"