Hi "just me"

There is a great book that can help, called "Women Who Love Too Much
When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change" by Robin Norwood, although it is written for women it's relevent to anyone in this situation.

It explains the dynamics of co-dependency, how the woman becomes addicted to her own adrenaline in her brain, as a result of "walking on eggshells" to support the alcoholic/ anger addicted partner. She shows how this addiction to an emotional abuser affects every area of the woman's life. And the recovery process is essentially the same for either alcohol addiction or relational addiction.

In the last part of the book the author helps the reader step by step to recover from the relational addiction.

Like the effect of a drug, the person you are with seems to bring a potency and passion to your life that makes everything else fade into the background. You become addicted to the emotional extremes, and life without the person seems empty & colourless, devoid of love, power, fulfilment.

Like a drug this is a complete illusion. You can have a passionate relationship that is non-abusive. But not until you walk away & recover, however long that takes.