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ALWAYS MARRY AN UGLY GIRL

CHORUS: Always marry an ugly girl; that's the only kind.
She'll never ever leave you, and if she does, you won't mind.

My uncle married an ugly girl. She drank from a special cup.
She had a great big upper lip, but her lower lip covered it up. CHORUS

My cousin married an ugly girl. He thought he had it made,
But every night when she undressed, the neighbors they pulled their shades. CHORUS

My brother married an ugly girl. The family got uptight.
They gave them a formal wedding. They painted the shotgun white. CHORUS

When you make love to an ugly girl, she'll never let you quit,
Because she thinks that it's the last she's ever gonna get. CHORUS