In an Oz story there's a group of people who are so fragile-ly made that at the slightest tremor of the wind or of upset feelings, they just completely disintegrate and must then wait in a heap until someone comes along and reassembles them. Some of the topics people post here seem to have that effect, they start on a hot-button and sure enough people's buttons are pushed. Then the poster has to play defense to clear up what wasn't meant to hurt. I guess on a good day people work through the upset and learn a whole lot about themselves/each other/the world and that's a good thing.

People will use all kinds of things to refer to themselves that are quite rude when applied from someone else. Sometimes this is a device to wave a flag about some way we've been hurt-- like survivors of sexual abuse will sometimes act out sexually because they can only use the behavior to point toward a problem they don't know how to talk about. Or blondes will tell blonde jokes on themselves and sure enough, they are acting out being treated like dumb blondes and are really hurt but don't say so, ha ha.

I think most of us are mature enough to realize when we may be posting something that will push buttons. Can't we just preface such postings with a word or two about what brought the thing to mind? Then when they are read, we start from a position of listening like a friend instread of reacting to a slap in the face. For instance, I've read some old threads where some of you really sling fastballs and it's hard to tell the knuckle balls (jokes) from the hardballs aimed to hit and hurt when it's people I don't know. Is it a fight or are they having a good happy mudwrestle? Do I call the cops, join in, or walk away? I have corresponded by now with some of these slingers in a personal way since joining, and I know them at least well enough to see their humor. But if someone who isn't known in that way posts... well I guess xenophobia will never go away.

I'm not looking for a PC community but I am looking for one where people start from a position of respect and then behave in such a way that respect is returned. And face it-- some postings, however scholarly or loving, are going to jump on someone's sore toes. So let's handle it nicely when someone says their toes hurt, OK?