well you'd have make do with a Moderately Large Mac, because we English aren't given to making extravagant claims.

the queen would have to have a boobs job and face lift, more of a sort of Joan Rivers style monarchy.

You would have taught Red Indians to play cricket, and they would beat you.

you'd have to get used the Scots and the Irish hating your guts, and Martin guitar factory would go out of business, cos you'd all sing folksongs unaccompanied with a finger stuck in at least one ear (the other ear optional).