Whereas Peter Crouch holding on to someone's hair to score a goal is legitimate tactics?

Joe Cole's dives are somehow qualitatively different to Ronaldo's, even though they resulted in two bookings for innocent players??

I actually believe they are mostly at some form of cheating or other whenever they can. The Italian dive over the Australian's trailing leg in the last second, a l'Henry. Stop pussyfooting about and give any diver a red card.

Any Italian or French footballer who goes down in the penalty area in the last five minutes (assuming a drawn game Sunday on 85 minutes) - immediate red card.