You can dance, or play the fiddle
Talk in tongues or make up riddles
Do anything you really wish to do,
But don't, don't, don't
Don't let Mom fall down below the middle.
'Cuz you will sure regret it if you do!

You can fly or drive, or keep on thumbing
Sing or play, or stand around humming
Play the banjo harpor play the blues.
But don't, don't, don't
Don't let Mom fall down below the middle
'Cuz if you do, we're comin' after you

    Tell the doctor you hear voices
    Tell your gal you're out of choices
    Leave your home and look for something new.
    But when you talk about our Mummy
    Buster, don't start to act funny!
    We're got only one good word for you:

Straddle the fencepost, sleep on the griddle
Break old headlights, holler "Kadiddle"
But don't, don't, don't
Don't let Mom fall down below the middle
'Cuz if you do, you'll surely come to rue,
An' we're gonna come and getcha if you do.

Taylor Dingwhanger,
"Autodidactic Affinities in Rhyme"
Epsilon, Delta, and Omega Press
Louisville, Ky, 1978.