I shall not pun today. I shall not open that door ever a tiny crack. Puns are the excrement of small minds. Puns are only for those who cannot find real humor within or without themselves. No, I shall not pun today. I shall not tell the story of the Middle Eastern leader who got off a carousel and was immediately eaten by the center one of three young sheep, causing the shepherd to exclaim, "Middle lamb, you've had a dizzy Bey!" Nor shall I tell of the poker-playing automaton that had heavy weights piled upon it, forcing the owner to say, sadly, "It will take jacks or better to open." No, the good news is that I will not pun today.