Well, if the hoons are going to invade and I need to be armed with Manilow music to repel them, I have a small problem. You see, since nobody lives on the property east of my own I would need to protect almost a hundred acres. I only have a cheap little stereo that could never be heard over that expanse.

Now, I do have an electric guitar and a Marshall amplifier which I'm sure would provide the necessary volume, but I'm not sure that playing "Mandy" using overdriven power chords, heavy on the wah, wouldn't just exacerbate the problem....