CHIPMUNKS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
(sung to the tune of CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE)

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Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Frostbite chewing on your nose.
Yuletide carollers being thrown on a fire
And folks dressed up like buffaloes
Everybody knows a turkey slaughtered in the snow
Helps to make the season right.
Tiny tots with their eyes all gouged out
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of guns and bullets on his sleigh (slay?)
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really scream when they die.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 92.
Although it's been said many times, many ways;
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Fuck you!