"The Purina Diet"

I have a Golden Retriever & I was buying a large bag of
Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told
her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
& that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was
behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it
was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and
a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

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(Author unknown)