In the 1970s, I stayed with Royston Wood in Leiston, Suffolk. Holly Tannen, the Californian dulcimer player, was a resident. The Young Tradition had just broken up, and Royston told me he had this great song from America called The Five Constipated Men. He said no-one had heard of it, and I listened while he sang it:

"There were five, five constipated men
In the Bible, In the Bible
There were five, five constipated men
In the five good books of Moses."

The first, first constipated man
He was Cain, he was not Abel
The first, first constipated man
He was Cain, he was not Abel."

Moses - he took the tablets
Balaam - he couldn't move his ass
Solomon - he sat for forty years
Samson - he brought the house down

I started singing it in the folk clubs, and Owen Jones from Monmouth (now of Birmingham) picked it up. It spread like wildfire. Then Pat joined me and we started playing as Calennig - and Five Constipated Men got dropped. We'd had enough of it by then.

Eventually Royston went to live in White Plains, New York, where he was tragically killed by a car. I visited him in White Plains, and I thanked him for letting me sing his song.

Thanks, Mudcatters, for jogging my memory!