Here are the lyrics to "Please Mister Conductor". It was recorded by Vernon Dalhart (Victor) and Ernest Stoneman (Okeh) in 1925 and by Bradley Kincaid (Melotone) in 1931. It was written by J. Fred Helf and E.P. Moran and Copyrighted in 1898 by Howley, Haviland & Co. We learned it from Ray and Ina Patterson at the 1979 San Diego Folk Festival.

Although it's correct name is "Please Mister Conductor", we've always called it "Lighting Express" and so do a lot of other people.

Don't read these lyrics unless you have a box of Kleenex handy!

LIGHTNING EXPRESS

1. The Lightning Express from the depot so grand had just pulled out on its way
All the passengers who were on board seemed to be happy and gay
Except a young lad in a seat by himself reading a letter he had
'Twas plain to be seen from the tears in his eyes that the contents of it made him sad

2. The stern old conductor he passed through the car taking tickets from everyone there
Finally reached the little boy's side and gruffly demanded his fare
"I have no ticket", the little boy said, "But I'll pay you back some day"
"I'll have to put you off next station", he said but he stopped when he heard the boy say

chorus:

"Please, mister conductor, don't put me off of your train
For the best friend I have in this whole wide world is waiting for me in vain
Expected to die any moment and may not live through the day
I want to bid mother goodbye, sir, before God takes her away"

3. As mother was ailing before I left home and needed a doctor's care
I came to the city employment to seek but could not find any work there
This morning a letter from sister arrived, come home mother's dying did say
And that is the reason I'm anxious to ride though I haven't the money to pay

chorus

4. A little girl in a seat close by said, "To put that boy off is a shame."
So taking his hat a collection she made and soon paid his way on the train
"I'm obliged to you miss for your kindness to me", "Your welcome, I'm sure, never fear"
Each time the conductor passed through the car these words seemed to ring in his ear

chorus

We think Helen didn't do the third verse as it's rather obscure. We just learned it from Faith Petric about a month ago and its addition makes the story much more complete.

Bev and Jerry