The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #64094 Message #1815656
Posted By: The Fooles Troupe
21-Aug-06 - 09:35 PM
Thread Name: BS: Fools In The Real World
Subject: RE: BS: Fools In The Real World
Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer - "Do not use while sleeping." (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron - "Do not iron clothes on body" (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On a bag of Fritos - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (x-ray vision anyone?)
On a bar of Dial soap - "Directions: Use like regular soap." (as opposed to???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners - "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) - "Do not turn upside down." (well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (…and you thought????…)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine - "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid - "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights - "For indoor or outdoor use only." (and here I was going to use them, uh, hmmmm?)
On a Japanese food processor - "Not to be used for the other use." (Somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts - "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts - "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (so I shouldn't eat the package too?)
On a child's Superman costume - "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw - "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)